In case you think the headline here is clever or is corny, excuse me, but “uplifting” appeared so often in my bra research, I just had to use it. “The Story of the Drooping Boob” might have gotten more attention.

As I was dressing this morning to go enjoy my tea and cookie, I started to think about the incredibly uncomfortable piece of my wardrobe that I was attaching to my upper body–that thing known as a bra today and formerly as a brassiere (French, of course). Maybe you’re thinking, “I love my small, lacy bra that I purchased from Victoria’s Secret,” but I’m not sure they carry my size.

Since my cup size does not appear on the front of most of the children’s alphabet books, my fabric torture devices are heavily constructed with strong under-fabric and wide straps. You get the picture. And since you may not know me in person, I should tell you that if I was considered vastly overweight, I would just blame it on the boobs.

When I thought about conversing with you on the subject of bras, one of the first things that jiggled into my mind was the famous Fredrick’s of Hollywood store that was looted of the celebrity lingerie during the Los Angeles riots in 1992. The company had a famous bra and panty museum that was started in 1986 in a back room of the store. I was living in LA at the time of the riots and remember the stories about Madonna’s stolen bra, and other celeb intimate apparel being carried away.

Bras were celebrated for their 100th anniversary in 2007, but women had been binding their breasts in one way or another way before that time. Bras, as we know them today, really became popular about the beginning of the 1930’s. Are you old enough to recall the introduction of the push-up bra? How about the days of women going bra-less, mainly in the 1960’s? Neither idea worked for me. And when did women start doing the enlargement enhancement. And why?

Men in this era don’t have to have an imagination to know what breasts look like.
They are hanging out everywhere–the hooters, not the men. There was a time when men got excited if they had a glimpse of an ankle. (National Geographic magazine was a really big seller just so men could look at the pictures of naked native women.)

Yes, I have lived long enough for big breasts to be popular even with women. When I first got mine in middle school, it was very embarrassing, and when being thin as a rail was in vogue, most stylish women were flat chested. Well, now there’s no need to hide them, and for me, there’s no way to hide them either. So I decided to let it all hang out and have this conversation with you. And since this is a bit one-sided, I’d be happy if you posted a comment below.

COMING NEXT: Scream For Ice Cream