HERE’S HOW I DO NOTHING

Okay, you’re right–If I’m going to do nothing, I have to even give up drinking my hot tea and eating a chocolate chip cookie. We know that’s not going to happen. But I did want to confess to you that there are things I don’t do that generally fall under the category “a woman’s job.”

If you’ve read anything I’ve written, you already know that I don’t cook if there is any way out of doing so. But you may not know that I also don’t sew and I don’t do gardening.

The Public Schools and my mother did their best to teach me to sew. In school, I made a blouse that was too small and a skirt that was too big. Mom let me pick out material and patterns for me to make. By the time she couldn’t stand seeing them un-sewn, they were wrapped in cobwebs. Well, the goal was too high–Mom could tailor a suit. How could I live up to that?

My Dad was the gardener. All he had to do was look at a seed or a bulb, add a dash of water, and carry the results off to a gardening contest and come back carrying the blue ribbon. I, on the other hand, said that giving me a house plant to tend was like handing over the poor thing to Murder, Inc.

One time friends gave us one of those a-plant-a-month gifts. Each plant was dead by the time the next one arrived four weeks later. I did try to keep the lovely leaves and blossoms on the stem, but they would not mind me.

My husband and I have a beautiful yard. He picks out the plants and a gardener takes care of them. I sit and admire them–not just the plants but also the marvelous work of the gardener and the great plant choices of my husband.

“Boy, is she spoiled.” I can hear you thinking that through my magical internet.

Well, I do take care of the dishes that get dirty from the take-out food we eat. And I pay the water bills that are high because of all the water that goes on the plants. I show my husband where I keep the needles and thread when he has to sew on buttons. My biggest job is going to the market to buy the ready-prepared foods, produce and paper products. I do this as little as possible.

More to my defense–I raised a wonderful child and I had a full-time job all of my life. Now I write, although that is more for my own fun than for yours. (Wow, she’s also selfish.)

It’s okay with me if you share recipes or gardening tips but just be aware that they are not going to be used by me. Hopefully other readers here will enjoy them. (See, I know how to share.)

COMING NEXT: DISASTROUS ADVENTURES IN COOKING

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Comments on: "HERE’S HOW I DO NOTHING" (1)

  1. In our hustle-bustle daily life, doing nothin’ is rarer than hens’ teeth for me and most of the gal pals I know…… It’s so refreshing to read your stories, and picture you sitting there sipping and munching as your brain and fingers fly to keep amusing us…
    Thanks for your day brighteners !! xoxoxoxo dana

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